Counselor Lenny: Hi, have a seat city of
Who am I? Well, I’m counselor Lenny. Your friends and family called me here to speak to you about something very important.
PITTSBURGH, WE ALL CARE
ABOUT YOU VERY MUCH, BUT IT APPEARS YOU HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM.
How do I know? Well, you’re drinking right now and we’re in a church. No Big Ben is not here, like I said, subterfuge. Trickery. TRICKERY. I was jagging you. Now that we’re all on the same page a few loved ones wrote you letters.
would you like to go first?
Counselor Lenny: Just read the letter,
Counselor Lenny: Now,
know emotions are running high. Do you have anything constructive to tell Pittsburgh?
Counselor Lenny: Maybe we should move forward.
New York City really
wanted to be here, but she had better things to do. She sent Atlantic City in her place.
Counselor Lenny: I thought we were all here to help
not tear it down? Now let’s all think of constructive ways for Pittsburgh to spend its time instead of
*everyone is silent*
Anybody have any ideas?
Counselor Lenny: Look, I realize the weather is miserable and you have identity issues. I know it’s hard, not knowing whether you’re situated in the
Counselor Lenny: Of course.