Things I think about while on the bike at the gym

• That old man over there is snoozing on the ab machine.
• I can't wait to go home and get high and/or drink copiously.
• I wonder if this can kill me?
• Is that the Ellen Degeneres show or Sports Center on that TV over there?
• Now I can eat all the cookies...
• Whatever happened to Craig Kilborn?
• My heart rate is 174?! Shit, that doesn't seem right.
• Whose dumb fucking idea was this?