Flirting in the 21st century, Brett Favre style

Everyone knows I’m not exactly keen on manners. But in some ways I am downright old fashioned. For instance, if a man I was vaguely acquainted with took a liking to me and decided the best way to win my favor would be to forward a hastily snapped pic of his, oh, how should I put this, his wang; well let’s just say there is a very short list of people who could get away with such a thing without my taking out a restraining order.

You know where I’m going with this. Proving once and for all that he is a congenital retard, Brett Favre did the above to a comely female member of the sporting press, thusly taking a bad idea and making it monumentally worse. I know, I know, allegedly. Brett Favre allegedly stuck his cell phone down his shorts and allegedly snapped the most unspectacular and tepid alleged dong pictures I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. Allegedly.

Men, you if are going to forward a lady a picture of your member, that thing better be downright spectacular. It better be gold plated and capable of rupturing a spleen. Anything less will be ridiculed mercilessly and forwarded to all her friends with the subject line, 'OMG, lookit at this!' If you are a celebrity, there is the added bonus that it will be forwarded to everyone's friends, and if you are a married celebrity, you better rent out some place to have a tearful press conference, because you are going to need it.

Most men I've known easily realize that a vast majority of women are not running around clamoring for pictures of their junk. Very few women can appreciate a naked man in all his glory and most cannot look at an unsheathed dong without giggling uncontrollably and getting light headed. I don't have this problem. To me there is nothing better than a totally hot nude man parading the goods around your bedroom post coitus. Or any time, really. However Favre is not that man. He is the man you take on family picnics and to Applebee's on Friday night. No one wants to see his half hard, unimpressive penis flopping between his hairy thighs and matted pubic hair. Now I'm nauseous, thanks Brett.

Yet he did this (allegedly) apparently assuming that the object of his affection would be so overwhelmed by little Brett that she would...what? Take a picture of her genitals and forward with high priority? Send him a steamy text message? This is the kind of thing you do to someone when you are playing a joke on them. Hunter help Brett's wife if this is his idea of seduction. I imagine their sex life would be similar to a slap stick comedy, with a lot of sight gags and pratfalls and Brett twitching uncontrollably at the moment of truth before falling into a dead sleep. Classy.

But I'm more disturbed that people do this with frequency, compeletely decimating any sort of sensuality with an ill-timed crotch shot. What kind of message do you send with a picture like that? "Put this in mouth, kthanxbai." What kind of boorish troglodyte does this in all sincerity? What happened to men trying to impress women with wit and charm and affection, at least until you know they are yours. Then you can start sending them pictures of your balls and farting on them in public. Is it because Favre is such a big star that he thinks he doesn't have to try at all? That he can sabotage his chances and still get the girl? Or is that people are just fucking so lazy and apathetic that even the art of seduction is falling out of favor?